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Life with People

Dear all, good morning and a great day to everybody! My week started out fantastic. We had a very relaxed Sunday. I got up at 6.30 (in the morning!) which is not very common for me on Sundays, but I was full of energy and happiness. I took the dogs out for an early morning walk. Then I made a great healthy all grain pancake breakfast and I spent almost 4 hours taking care of my love. He really needed to relax but he was so wired from everything he had to do that he was finding it hard to enjoy his day off.

For me the ultimate way to help somebody relax is by using massage and reflexology techniques. I love touching my love’s body so for me it is a very pleasant experience as well. Really anyone can give massages and use reflexology, I found that it is a really special experience for you and your love to discover all these great instruments of wellness together. Start by reading about the techniques you want to use, get nice smelling massage oil and a quiet place to start practicing. Make sure you and the receiver are comfortable, not too cold, not too warm, you can set the ambience by lowering the lights and lighting a bit of incense. For me personally I prefer for my love and me to be naked while massaging I feel it enhances you connection (another great advantage of massaging each other in stead of going to a salon). So yes massaging and reflexology are all about connection, close your eyes and let your hands feel his or her body, when you first start, do not press to hard and check regularly with the receiver how it feels.  I have received quite a few massages so what I do while massaging is I try to imagine how the moves I make feel on the receivers body, I really try to imagine the sensations he is feeling and that way become mentally and spiritually closer to each other. Of course the other great advantage of giving your love a massage is that it will probably set the scene for other very nice couples activities… making love is one of the best ways to relax so my advice is to really enjoy and relax together, learn to understand each others bodies and reach a fantastic climax together.

If you want to catch up on your massage or reflexology techniques I found these really interesting websites and videos to tell you more:

http://www.how-to-do-reflexology.com/

Referring this account back to the theme of this blog, how to create change in your life. Well I found out that it is inevitable to share your life with people. My dream when I was little was to live on a deserted island with only animals, no people; I have always felt people were ruining this planet, killing each other, killing animals, killing mother earth I didn’t want anything to do with people.

Well then you grow up and you start to realize there are some people that are OK and there are a few that you love and in the end you have to deal with people to live your life, the good ones and the bad ones. As I tried to explain before I started this blog about my quest to make positive changes in my life. During our therapy sessions I discovered that it is really hard for me to show empathy towards people.

#Google -> Define: empathy -> The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

This is one thing I had to work on because it was really threatening the relationship with my love, one of the only people I really love to be with.

So to be honest I really had to teach myself to be more emphatically towards others, actually to change my mindset to not to think about myself in the first place. Weird thing is that I have always had seas of empathy towards animals but when dealing with people I would always go into a defense mode instead of a understand mode.

In my previous blogs I have told you about me trying to improve my communication skills by learning more about non-violent communication and being a better listener. Listening and understanding others is really important if you try to have empathy for the other. So besides improving my communication skills I also try just to be nicer in general. I have always been nice during short exchanges like with a teller at the shop, I am really a pleasant customer. But that is not what I mean. I try to be nicer to people around me by doing things for them without expecting anything is return.

If you are like me, not used to this, it something you have to think about, for example, last week I had to get some groceries for the office and while in the shop I saw some doughnuts, I was thinking, sweet a doughnut, just what I wanted. Then I thought, wait a minute; maybe the guys in the office would like a doughnut as well. Now in the past this thought would not have occurred to me, I would have just bought and eaten a doughnut myself without anyone knowing what they missed out on. But this time I bought 4 doughnuts, one for me and three for the colleagues and I waited until I got back to the office and hand them out before eating (I didn’t even protest when the chocolate sprinkled doughnut which I wanted was taken by someone else). It turned out one of our colleagues had left for the day so we had one doughnut extra, my first thought was, yummy one extra for me, and then I thought, no you can divide it in three and share this one as well, and so I did. And it felt really good!

It all sounds so simple but if you are not used to this mindset it is something you have to think about, but over time it will be more something you just do instead of something you have to tell yourself to do. Here, my example about Sunday comes in, I could have thought ‘what a great day for me to spent doing the stuff I want to do for myself’, but in stead, with no prior self-instructions, I felt that my love was really stressed and I wanted to do something to help him feel better and enjoy our Sunday together.

In conclusion I still believe there are a lot of evil people in the world and all the empathy in the universe will not help me understand how people can abuse and kill other human and non-human beings. I have been disappointed and betrayed by people whom I trusted. Looking back I realize these things have happened for a reason I was able to see these peoples true nature, to remove them from my life and now my life is better without them. It was a sort of cleansing that needed to happen, so if some one betrays you do not think about revenge and grief, be happy you found out who they really were before they did greater damage. And most importantly do not be afraid to give your trust to others, do not let one bad experience ruin your life.

Trying to be emphatically towards others will make your life happier, because you will receive back what you give. Just start out on a small scale and think about it, think about the people you feel deserve your empathy most and start by showing it to them, you will find these small steps will change your mindset and without trying you will start to be more emphatically towards all around you.

I’ll be back later with some great stuff about loosing weight, feeling good and being healthy in the “have fun and relax’ category of this site.

Love Life Peace!

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Life is Good

Good morning world, it’s another wonderful day on planet earth, at my location the sky is blue the sun is shining and its Friday! I’m listening to a great reggae artist I just recently discovered called Alborosie, on YouTube you can find a great gig which he gave at Rototom Sunsplash Festival in Spain (going there is definitely on the ToDoList, I’ll get back to that later on).

Yes, I am feeling very good about a lot of things. There is always so much stuff to get you down, on a global scale and in your personal life but I try to focus on the positive. I have been trying to tell you more about the small changes I have been trying to make in my life to create positive change.  Positive change in my attitude, in my relationship, in my energy level, in the way I feel about myself.

I earlier posts I have told you about what I have discovered about my own communication skills and how they would get in the way of my happiness. Today I want to tell you more about practical steps I have been taken to feel better. I love the Internet, I use it to look up anything I am interested in and for me the Internet is a great source of knowledge and inspiration.

One of the great tools I have discovered is a research program by a Dutch university; it’s a questionnaire that helps you assess you happiness. It is a free tool that helps you discover which things in your life make you happy and which make you unhappy. You can find more information about it on this page:

http://www.gelukswijzer.nl/happinessindicator/gw/

This tool helped me to think about the things that really make me happy and relaxed. I made a list of what makes me happy and it inspires me to try and spend more time doing what makes me happy. It was by doing this and really focusing on what makes my happy I discovered that it is really satisfying for me to spent time in the garden, I love to plant plants and flowers and grow vegetables and fruit. And now that I know this makes me happy it seems my mind wants to spent more time thinking about this and out of the blue I get great ideas for my garden and all kind’s of great garden improvements which I can easily realize.

I support the theory of the law of attraction. I’m pretty sure most people know what I am talking about, thanks to movies like the Secret. The basic idea is everything is made of energy, you, me, our thoughts; everything is made out of energy. Energy attracts energy. This means that positive energy attracts positive energy and negative energy attracts negative energy. Sounds simple right. I know I say this a lot, but really it is simple, the difficult thing is to understand it and trying to enable it in your own life.

It is not magic, it is not like when you get mail and there is a bill inside and you put all your thoughts into thinking that is a check inside the mail and abracadabra the bill turns into a check. But having a positive mindset and thinking about getting checks in stead of bills might help assure that the next mail will hold a check inside, while if you keep on thinking this is just the first of many bills to come, many bills is what you will get.

So making up your mind about what makes you happy and focusing on that in a positive way will help you attract the things that make you happy. It will start small, with one positive that happens in your life, this positive happening leads to you being happy and you giving out more positive energy and this will lead to more positive happenings.

It worked for me and it will work for you. Let me tell you about my own situation. Just a two months ago my love and I found ourselves in an acute financial crisis, three of his clients decided not to pay their invoices all at the same time and our bills were piling up to the point that they almost cut of our water and electric. We had so many assets but it was impossible to turn them into money in such a short notice. The car we wanted to sell broke down and every time we fixed one thing some other part of the car broke down.  We had a house on the market and the realtor had called that there were serious buyers, he was already drawing up the documents when they found out they could not get financing. We were totally stressed out and full of negative energy until we said, enough!

We sat down, watched the secret together, analyzed our complete situation, made a step by step plan and we asked for help. We got the help we asked for, and started working hard to accomplish everything we had planned. And little by little the situation started to turn around, the car that for no apparent reason did not want to start anymore out of the blue with no repairs done started again and was sold, the people who wanted to buy the house and who were turned down for financing called that another bank did want to finance them. It felt like this little positive wave had rolled into our lives and it just keep on growing bigger and bigger with positive happenings.

I believe it is not just by thinking that you can make things happen, of course you have to work for it and try and make things happen with a positive attitude. I have known about the law of attraction for a few years but as my example can demonstrate everybody can have a downturn, it is the way you handle it that makes all the difference.

So, accept for dealing with the here and now situations of your life, like solving an immediate financial crisis, I try to use the law of attraction as well to focus on large or long term things I want to accomplish in my life. One example of this is that every start of the year I make a ToDoList with things I want to learn or experience that year and every time I do something that’s on my list I mark it and it fills me with happiness. Going to Rototom Sunsplash Festival is on my list, although I’m won’t be able to go there this year I am sure it will happened next year or the year after so I do not worry if in one year I do not complete my list, the items I did not do just move on to the next year.

I feel there are two things, which are really important for you to be conscious about when you want the law attraction to work for you. The first thing is that you have to be honest, be honest to yourself about what you want.
Being honest to yourself is not easy, ask yourself, what is it I really want? There are so many things that you think you want because other people have them and it makes them happy but that does not mean these things will make you happy. So try and really think about what it is you really want and what will make you ahppy and be honest to yourself about it!

Secondly you have to be grateful for what you already have, try everyday to take a little bit of time and think about everything in your life that makes you happy, these do not need to be material things, it can be friendship, love, the weather, just anything that makes you happy in your life right now and turn these happy feelings into gratefulness. Try and share these feelings of happiness and gratefulness with the universe.

Personally I have always felt this was difficult because what is the universe? How to share something with the universe? But nowadays I just take a moment when I am outside and just stop close my eyes, I smile and feel the sun and the wind on my skin, breathe in deeply and I think about all the great stuff in my life which I am grateful for and when I breath out I imagine all these happy and grateful feelings being carried into the world with my out flowing breath.

I found a little wikihow page that has a little resume of what is explained in the movie the secret: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Law-of-Attraction

Of course this is a good start and once you have started you just try whichever way of working with the law of attraction feels good for you. Keep the positive energy flowing and keep the love growing

Ill try and write a small article about green smoothies for the “relax and have fun” category of this blog, this afternoon, if not Ill be back on Monday. Thanks for being here and letting me share with you, have a great weekend everybody and enjoy!

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Yoga

I love yoga! Everybody should try it, and the great thing is, almost everybody can, it’s not a hard to learn sport, there is a type of yoga for everybody (and every body).

For a very long time I thought that yoga was to New Agy for me, until I met a very special lady in my Capoeira class who happened to be a yoga instructor. She invited me to join her weekly yoga class, on the Caribbean beach and Jacuzzi afterwards, who can say no to that? I discovered that yoga is a very relaxed way of exercising your body and your mind. I started yoga over a year ago and I am still discovering and learning a lot about yoga and its benefits but I can truly say it has helped me a lot on my journey to create change in my life by giving me a way to relax and think things over, a quiet and peaceful place to retreat when the world is too stressful and intense.

If you have never done yoga before it is best to see if there is a yoga class near you where you could take a look and join for a try. There are many forms of yoga and many ways to teach it. I was lucky that I met a great teacher who teaches a form of yoga that really fits with me which is Hatha Yoga.

Now my teacher left the island so no more weekly classes, luckily I had enough practice to do a little routine at home, but I also looked on the internet to find some nice yoga videos and to try some new techniques. I do a few basic moves every morning and night just to stretch my muscles and loosen my joints.

If you were interested in starting with yoga I would advise you to look around on the Internet and do a little research about what form of yoga you would like to learn. You can also start to practice at home using the instruction videos you can find on youtube. I made a little list (using Wikipedia) of the different types of yoga, you can use these names to find more information and online videos to start practicing or just to inform yourself about what is out there.

For me personally yoga is about tranquilizing your mind and exercising your body. You do this by controlling your breath and making sure you breath deep into your belly in stead of superficially. You go trough a series of movements while you align you breath with the movement. For example when you stand and raise your hands you breath in and when you lower your hands you breath out. Everything has to do with energy flows. I have tried a few forms of yoga, some focus on flowing movements that help you become more agile and in control of your body and other focus on holding postures for a longer while and help you build strength and some focus on breathing, breathing techniques and meditation, in the end all types of yoga will help you relax your body and your mind.

Hatha  Yoga -> Hatha yoga attempts to balance mind and body via physical postures or “asanas”, purification practices, controlled breathing, and the calming of the mind through relaxation and meditation.

Ashtanga vinyāsa Yoga -> The term vinyāsa refers to the alignment of movement and breath, a method which turns static asanas into a dynamic flow. A practice will comprise four main parts: an “opening sequence,” one of the six main “series”, a back-bending sequence, and a set of inverted asanas, referred to as the “finishing sequence.”

Kundalini Yoga -> Kundalini is the term for “a spiritual energy or life force located at the base of the spine”. The majority of the physical postures focus on navel activity, activity of the spine, and selective pressurization of body points and meridians. Breath work and the application of bhandas (3 yogic locks) aid to release, direct and control the flow of Kundalini energy from the lower centers to the higher energetic centers.

Restorative Yoga -> In restorative yoga, props are used for support the body so that you can hold poses for longer, allowing you to open your body through passive stretching. The postures are usually adapted from supine or seated yoga poses with the addition of blocks, bolsters, and blankets to eliminate unnecessary straining.

Yin Yoga -> Yin Yoga is a slow-paced style of yoga with postures or asanas that are held for comparatively long periods of time–five minutes or longer per pose is typical.

There are many more forms and types of yoga, many are based on the Hatha yoga style. If you are a beginner I would advise to start with Hatha yoga because it will teach you many of the moves that are used in other types of yoga as well. Because you hold the postures for a little while with the Hatha practise you get a change to study the postures in perfect them before trying our a more flowing type of yoga. Again it is best to start at a yoga centre or at a gym because it is really nice to have someone present who can explain the postures and show you how to do them the right way.

I found a great site that has a very rich collection of information about different yoga styles in case you would like to investigate: http://yoga.about.com/od/typesofyoga/u/yogastyles.htm#s4

Enjoy and relax with yoga!

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