Although my life is and always has been pretty perfect I was not happy. Which made me even unhappier because let’s face it one should be grateful for what one has. I was born in Western Europe in a well off family; I always had everything my heart desired.
I’ve left the parental nest when I was seventeen, now I’m close to thirty, in the meanwhile I’ve travelled, moved to Spain, finished my degree, moved three thousand miles away to a nice warm place in the Caribbean, started and finished a few semi-serious relationships, got a steady almost well paid job, I just whirled trough life as I felt fit.
Looking back now I realize that I was always very angry. I could share with others, I had fun, laughed, loved, but always to a certain point. I had never completely opened myself to anyone. I did not realize that until about a year ago when I met Mr. Le Grand, the man I am sharing my life with, and hope to marry.
He made me realize that I wanted to let him into my life, from the start on he shared everything, his deepest secrets, everything.
I think most people are idiots and I do not trust them. I can be perfectly happy on my own, with my dogs, I do not need people to entertain me. I dealt with people but superficially, nobody ever got really close and I could just easily drift of into my own world, ignoring all around me. If people wanted to deal with me it was my way or no way at all, I was really firm about that.
My way of being was pretty frustrating for anybody trying to have a relationship with me. I knew that but I did not care because as I said I’m perfectly happy on my own. That is until Mr. Le Grand entered my life.
It took a lot of fights, crying, making up, talking (and I hate to talk, especially about feelings), writing (turns out I’m a better writer than I am a talker) a lot of patience and eventually a few therapy sessions for us to be able to live together. Neither of us is perfect but we try to learn and improve ourselves.
Being on this journey of self-analysis, self-assessment and self-improvement has been very interesting and I have been learning and realizing a lot of things, which make my life so much easier. I’m writing all this down, because I’m happy with everything I have discovered and I would like to share it, also because I always wanted to write something and finally because it is probably good for me to reflect about my life once in a while. So that’s it welcome to my blog, my reflections about my journey towards creating change in my attitude and my life. Love Alice